Helpless, Hopeless Romantic

Helpless, Hopeless Romantic is a deleted song from The Pebble and the Penguin. In this song, Hubie and Rocko meet an elephant seal, the Beachmaster, and his many wives who support Hubie's mission in getting home to rescue Marina and help him find his pebble under the Antarctic Ocean.

Lyrics
Beachmaster: I'm just a helpless, hopeless romantic.

A sentimental softie through and through. (babbles with tongue) 

Adoring is my addiction.

A heart that's shown as soaring,

That's my affliction.

I've got a heart that could fill the Atlantic,

I've got a harem to fill up a zoo-boo-boo-boo-boo!

I'm just a helpless, hopeless, gigantic romantic like you!

Wives (& Beachmaster): He's just a helpless, hopeless romantic.

I am a pulsey, whoopsy-cutesy poo. (laughs (I'm into tusky-wusky!))

Romancing has held us ransom.

The man is so entrancing. Ooohh!

Indeed, he's handsome! (laughs)

He can be smashing, and his needs get frantic,

With over hundreds of honeys to woo!

He's just a hubba, hubba... hubba-hubba, hunka lover!

Beachmaster: (spoken) Now, Hubie, what does this pebble look like?

Hubie: (spoken, stuttering) It's a l-l-little small, but it has this b-beautiful streak of-Look! look! Woo! (laughs)

Beachmaster: (spoken) Everybody, into the sea! We must help Hubie find that pebble!

(Instrumental and Choral Break)

Rocko: (spoken) Hey, Romeo, catch. Hold onto it this time, okay?

Wives: (cheering)

Beachmaster: (spoken) When the cause is true, love, no battle is too fierce! No journey is too long, and no search is too formidable! (babbles with tongue)

Wives: He's got a heart that could fill the Atlantic!

Beachmaster: I've got a harem to fill up a zoo!

Wives: Doo-doo-de-doo!

Beachmaster (& Wives): I'm just a helpless, hopeless, gigantic romantic... li-i-i-i-i-ike...

Wives: (gasping lustfully)

Beachmaster: (baritone) Yo-o-ou!